How To Love Your Husband... Dirty Toilets and All

I remember that day so vividly. It was a day of revelation for me. I was pregnant, homeschooling our two sons with a toddler under toe and trying to keep our house tidy for the sporadic showings we had while our little ranch was for sale. Life was so busy and my temper was unpredictable. You know that phrase, "If Momma ain't happy..."?? You know the rest... that was me.

This day in particular, I was cleaning a mess my hubby made. OK, let me just be honest, it was his toilet. At the time, we had two separate bathrooms. As I was on my knees, working up a sweat with my big belly in the way, my thoughts started down that dangerous spiral: from accusation to anger and from anger to bitterness. If you could take a peek into my mind, it would not have been pretty.

Why am I cleaning his mess? Can't he just do this one little thing? Doesn't he understand all that I do? He is so selfish. I don't deserve this. This is so unfair. I am so unappreciated. 

And then out of the blue, like a gentle tap on the shoulder, I felt the unmistakable whisper of the Holy Spirit...

Finish reading here...

This Man...

This man has been in my life for 29 years. We met in Mrs. Crawford's class in third grade. I guess he left love notes in my desk... I didn't remember. I was too distracted trying to impress a boy named Adam.

This man tried to break his arm that same year after I feel off the monkey bars and broke my arm. He told me he cried when he heard they were taking me to the hospital.

This man asked me to be his girlfriend in high school, junior year. I agreed. He was a cute soccer player, why not? It didn't last long. I remember crying in a white, square pillow with a bunch of lace on it when I got home from school. I was hurt, but the story doesn't end there.

This man ended up at the same college I did. He was crazy. He played tricks on me and my roommate. I felt like a sister. I admittedly tried to avoid him at times because I knew he was gonna do something to me.

This man grew up. He grew in the Lord. He had a sweet sense about him. He held the door for me. We went out. I remember wearing a pink wool coat. It was our junior year in college. I felt safe with him. He was funny. He bought me scratch-off lottery tickets. We lost.

This man took me to a park one spring day. He asked me to marry him. I agreed. I knew I never wanted to spend one day a part from him. I found ways to spend more time with him... I never avoided him. We married 8 months later... on this day. I love November 2nd. Whether it's raining or shining... I love this day.

This man has loved me when I'm irrational. He has forgiven me when I didn't deserve to be. His touch has always been kind. He thinks of me first. I never felt less than what a blessed wife should feel like. He has never raised his voice in anger to me. He shares. He never criticizes. He forgets my shortcomings.

This man has been there for the births of our four sons. He has raised them to be smart, kind men. He is a true example to them of a godly father on earth. He challenges them to be wise. To make good decisions. To love their mom. He practices what he teaches in parenting.

This man is the most perfect gift I could ever receive.

I love November 2nd. Whether it's raining or shining... I love this day.

Why Healthy Makes Sense to Me...

I enjoy health. I enjoy being healthy. It just resonates with me... you know, just how some people love music, the arts, sports or working with their hands? That's me with health.

So let's define health. I like what the Medilexicons' (say what?) medical dictionary says about health, it's "The state of an organism when it functions optimally without evidence of disease or abnormality."

I really like that phrase, "functions optimally." In other words, to me it says, to live well. I want to live a good life. I want to enjoy my kids and later, my grand kids. I want to grow old with my husband and travel and laugh.

There is no telling what the future holds for any of us. We can do all things healthy and still end up sick or victims of life-altering tragedies. God holds those mysteries in his hands. But I know as long as I am breathing and fully functioning, I will do my best to take care of this body he has entrusted me with.

                    

Here are some reasons why healthy makes sense to me...

Side note... I have many times of treats and indulgences. I have days, weeks of terrible eating slumps. I'm in no way a health-eating Nazi... never want to appear that way to anyone. But my passion is to strive daily to eat/live well as best I can... to learn to live with my mistakes and rejoice over little victories!

1. I like feeling well... it's addicting. I like waking up with no aches, pains or sluggishness. When I am heavier and eating a junky diet, I can't bend over without feeling strangled or run up my stairs without being out of breath. I don't like those feelings... at. all. Once you get a taste of feeling healthy, you want it to stay as long as possible!

2. I like acting well. I will admit it, I can be a grump sometimes. But I have concluded those grump times are usually associated with my poor eating choices. Who likes being a grump? I'll go out on a limb and say, not many do. Healthy eating habits bring about a better frame of mind and to me, is nature's anti-depressant/anxiety remedy.

3. I like looking well... for my husband, of course! I guess I still want to somewhat resemble that young girl he fell in love with years and years ago. Inevitably there will be wrinkles and some gravity issues, but we still have a lot to work with. A poor diet contributes to the buildup of free radicals which progresses the aging process and the development of a number of age-related diseases. Experts suspect the antioxidant compounds found in whole foods are largely responsible for holding back the march of time.

4. I like fulfilling my God-given responsibilities. I love being a mom and wife. I love keeping a home and making it a haven for my family. I enjoy being social and having friendships. But the times I am not well, those things take a back seat. I tend to shy away from people when I'm sick . My home and family responsibilities get pushed aside and I become focused on me instead of them. There is this shift that happens when you feel sick. The duties and obligations get second or third place as this "unwellness" becomes first. I don't want that. I want my family to have the best of me as much as I can control as possible. Again, we are not guaranteed 100% health, but we can try our best!

5. I want to honor God with my body. The Bible is full of passages about our bodies. We can honor God by the way we care for our bodies. We are a reflection of him and our bodies are not our own, they are God's. But there are sins we can commit when it comes to our bodies whether it be through inappropriate use of drugs, sexual sins, over or under eating, alcohol or smoking abuse, or even idolizing our bodies above God. But a healthy balance of eating well, exercising and above all, keeping Christ the center of our health and overall living is truly an pleasing sacrifice to him!

Eating healthy is sometimes a nice thought, but a harder practice, I know. If you are on the fence, take some baby steps. Eliminate just one thing! Or go out and buy a bag of apples and start eating one a day. Throw out those bag of Ding Dongs... do they even make those anymore? Just one thing!

Do it.

Little things make big differences when it comes to health.

Look Whose Turning...

** Sorry... this is a bragging blog post ***

I am a blessed woman. I have been married to my best friend for over 15 years now. He is turning 38 tomorrow. I am blessed for many reasons and here are just a few reasons why...

1. He listens. The other day he returned from a week long, work-related trip. I didn't realize how much I needed to tell him about my week. But after about 20 or so minutes... he remained there... standing, listening... really listening. There is just something about a man that really listens to you.

2. He is humble. My husband has had many great accomplishments lately... and most of the time, people don't even know. He doesn't really care that people know. He doesn't brag about himself. He would rather brag about good things... godly things... his family.

3. He works hard. Since being married to him, my husband has been a seminary student, a golf caddy, a pastor, a freelance writer and now an editor. Whatever he is doing, he never does it casually. He puts his everything in it and finishes things well.

4. He is satisfied at home. My husband is a home-body. I love this about him. He would rather sit at home, reading, being with his family, watching a movie and wrestling with his boys than out being busy. Don't get me wrong, we do enjoy getting out and doing fun things, but it isn't what drives us. I love that he spends his energy, after he's done with work, with us... not other people or things.

5. He likes my food. I am a crazy foodie. I love trying new dishes and rarely do I ever make the same meal twice. I think sometimes this frustrates him although he never complains about it. He compliments my cooking and is open-minded to my new food adventures. He cares deeply about my feelings and he encourages our sons to be food adventurers too!

6. He loves a laugh. Rarely does a day go by that we don't find something humorous to laugh about. He is witty and loves to bring a smile to whoever he's around. He says I don't laugh at his jokes like I did when we were dating, but I think otherwise. He always brings a smile to my face.

7. He works through tough issues. A couple months ago, I was really bothered by some things going on in our lives. I was to the point of losing sleep over it. This in turn, bothered him. He researched ways and sought out advice from others on how we could deal with this and in a matter of days, he had a solution. When I am falling apart, he is pulling me back together.

8. He doesn't change. In this I mean, his self... his personality... Brian. He is dependable. He is usually predictable. I am never surprised by an abrupt demeanor or a changing mood. He is constant and calm. While I can be up and down and all-over-the-map sometimes, he always levels me out.

9. He leads well. I trust him with our family's lives. I know he has a godly vision for our sons and us. We may not have all the money in the world or an amazing portfolio, but I feel our future is truly secure because of the godly example and guidance he gives us daily. I feel he is one of the best dads (and obviously husband too!) ever and what more can a mom want than to see her sons grow in godliness and manliness through the years? These are things money can never buy.

10. He is wise. Like I said earlier, I can be all over the place with things... things I think are great ideas or investments, but he sometimes will see clearer and may need to bring me back to reality on them. When turmoil or issues come up, I know I can immediately run to him for wisdom and guidance, every step of the way. And after 15 years, I can finally say, he is usually right about things we may differ on.

Thank you, Brian, for being you. For not changing with the wind. For being a man I'm always proud of and quite often amazed by. Your wisdom is something I cherish. Your love and hard work bring me great security in this crazy life. I love you.

Happy Birthday.

Wedded Bliss

Yesterday I celebrated 15 years of marriage. It was a normal, hectic day as a mom of 4 boys. But in my heart, I was beaming...

Well, it didn't start off that way. Rewind 15 years back. Two young kids, straight out of college... pretty self-centered... and a whole lot of maturing to be done.

Sometimes and especially for me, we look for someone whether it be a friend, a spouse, a parent or a child to fulfill parts of us that haven't been filled. Whether it be from a past of neglect, abuse, hurts and so on. Maybe it has been filled and we are too selfish to know it. Regardless, I went into marriage thinking "he" needed to fill me up. And he didn't. Or so I thought.

After the "honeymoon" phase wore off and we were settling into our jobs and seminary, it hit. He wasn't doing "this". He wasn't saying "that". It wasn't this "picture perfect" life I had waited my whole 23 years of life for. So I complained. I whined. I cried. A lot.

But then, God broke in and revealed almost more than I could handle. Thankfully through a young-marrieds class at church, I learned about the 5 love languages. For once, I realized that marriage is really about serving. About giving, not always receiving. Being Christ to our partner.
I also learned that I was wanting filled up with something humanly which would never bring true satisfaction. I wanted this man, my sweet husband, to fill me up and make me happy in ways that only God can. I realized that only in Christ can we really live and move and have our being. (Acts 17:28). And the verse, "the joy of the Lord is my strength" became real to me.

I finally, truly understood that when I am "in Christ", there, I am most satisfied. We have come a long way in our marriage. I can honestly say it is "wedded bliss". We are not perfect. But we have grown in our love for each other, but more so in our knowledge and love for Christ. That's what brings about a great marriage.

*Linked up Women Living Well Wednesdays