How To Love Your Husband... Dirty Toilets and All

I remember that day so vividly. It was a day of revelation for me. I was pregnant, homeschooling our two sons with a toddler under toe and trying to keep our house tidy for the sporadic showings we had while our little ranch was for sale. Life was so busy and my temper was unpredictable. You know that phrase, "If Momma ain't happy..."?? You know the rest... that was me.

This day in particular, I was cleaning a mess my hubby made. OK, let me just be honest, it was his toilet. At the time, we had two separate bathrooms. As I was on my knees, working up a sweat with my big belly in the way, my thoughts started down that dangerous spiral: from accusation to anger and from anger to bitterness. If you could take a peek into my mind, it would not have been pretty.

Why am I cleaning his mess? Can't he just do this one little thing? Doesn't he understand all that I do? He is so selfish. I don't deserve this. This is so unfair. I am so unappreciated. 

And then out of the blue, like a gentle tap on the shoulder, I felt the unmistakable whisper of the Holy Spirit...

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Gravel, Grace & a Place I Can Celebrate

There's this place. It's at an intersection. It's a little roadside church. White and plain, but perfectly placed in the middle of nowhere. It has a gravel parking lot. I don't normally notice gravel parking lots, I only know this because I pulled into it one day. Since that day, I seldom travel by it anymore.

But coincidentally, just the other day I drove by that place. Immediately that sick feeling you get in your stomach just before you are about to face a bad situation happened in my gut. A rush of emotions took over and guilt enveloped by mind. It's a place I wish didn't exist. That beautiful little country church’s gravel parking lot represented a dark side I want to erase.

It was a place that has brought me guilt as a parent. On that day, I allowed my flesh to control me as a mommy to our first son than allowing the Spirit to lead me and I simply blew it. I exploded in my words and attitude toward my toddler for cleverly squirming out of his car seat. I never harmed him physically, but it is a moment I still wish I could take back… even to this day, 10 years later....

But as I think about that intersecting place marked by the gravel lot, I begin to see a place where grace and forgiveness collide over my sin. Admittedly, we all have those parts in our lives that are ugly and dark. Places we want to bury and forget about. But maybe God wants us to bring those dark spots to light only so they can converge with His forgiveness and grace.

“Grace is nothing more nor less than the face that love wears when it meets imperfection, weakness, failure, sin.” – Joseph Cooke

Did you ever think that our places of past regrets can become places of celebration? They truly can be marked this way only because they reveal our emptiness and deepest need for God. Who are we apart from Christ anyway? Those spots that once haunted us can become places that remind us of God's forgiveness. Even though we can't forget the past, we can choose to celebrate our now changed lives. Tears of guilt are transformed into tears of gratefulness.

"There is hope in forgiveness." -- John Piper

The Bible is full of naming stories, from names of places based on something significant to names of people. Naming something reflects our relationship with it. In Genesis 22:14, after God spared Isaac's life because of Abraham's obedience, Abraham marked that spot and named it, "The Lord Will Provide". Maybe that's what we should do. Mark our spots of grace and name them. Remember it for a place of redemption... a place of that we've been rescued from. Not a place of disgrace. "Grace is love that seeks you out when you have nothing to give in return.

Grace is love coming at you that has nothing to do with you." -- Paul Zahl

I named that spot. I will remember that gravel parking lot I drove into that day. But now I will remember instead, Christ being my rock... "Stone of Help".

Do you have a place of shame or guilt? Do you avoid it? Take the long way just to go around it? Next time, don't. Drive right by it. Slow down. Name it. Celebrate the place you were at and the beautiful place God is or has taken you to. And by naming it, you can remember the broken spots and the place that God has made new.

The Lessons I've Learned from... {A Series}

There are many people who inspire me. All my life I have been one to notice things... notice people and their behavior... notice the way they interact and the way they respond to... life. As much as I have been capable, I've tried to either steer clear of certain behaviors I've seen that I don't appreciate or take on those behaviors that I admire. Whether it was the mothers I babysat for, my youth leaders, college professors or even people who do not share the same religious beliefs as I do, I've learned from them... and maybe one of those people is you!

I would like to start a series of {rather short and sweet} posts of the lessons I've learned from those I see around me. I hope they inspire you too!

The person I want to highlight in this post is none other than... Michelle Duggar :)

I am not an avid viewer of her show, 19 Kids and Counting, but I have seen enough to pick up on a few things about her.

The first thing I love about Michelle is how she honors and adores her hubby, Jim Bob. She smiles when he's around and they kiss a lot even in front of millions watching on TV. I love that about her. She is proud of him and doesn't really care what others think. She treats him with respect and truly follows his lead in the home.

The next lesson I've learned that truly inspires me from Michelle is the patience she shows to her children. Wow! Ok, I have 4 kids and she has 19 so let's do the math here... ummm, she has 15 more kids than I do to mother, love, discipline, hug and so on. I know we don't see everything that goes on in her life, but I see enough to conclude, this mama definitely practices what Paul talks about in first Corinthians 13... which is actually the very first thing that describes love... patient.

Finally, the last thing that Michelle Duggar has taught me is her grace through times of criticism. Be it for homeschooling, having so many children or choosing not to use birth control, etc... she handles tough questions and criticism with confidence and resilience. She doesn't seemed phased by critics and knows her ground and stays firm.

Are there other qualities that stand out to you in Michelle? If you could ask Michelle one question, what would it be?